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I call it the Pattaya Beach 'Dawn Freak Show!'
If you’ve even been to Thailand, specifically
Pattaya Beach, you will already know there’s an
unlimited variety of sights and sounds to
experience there. If you enjoy just relaxing and
doing some serious ‘people watching’, then without
a doubt, this is the place for you! Let me tell
you now, if you can imagine it, you can find it
here.
Once I was on a submarine cable laying job in
Thailand. Our company was laying a sub sea [that’s
underwater.. for you folks that really need the
basics] fiber optics cable that was to link up
most of the Southeast Asian countries with the USA
and Europe. Well, it was a hell of a job cause
they had me put up in a fairly nice hotel right
there on the main strip in Pattaya Beach. Hell of
a job and hell of an assignment. LOL. Heck.. my
employer didn’t know it at the time but even if
they would have cut my pay to HALF of what my
current day rate was – I wouldn’t have left that
job for anything.
If any of you readers out there that have had the
pleasure to visit Pattaya beach you will fully
understand where I’m coming from here. For those
of you who have never been to Pattaya beach..
well.. all I can say is there’s no shortage of
beautiful almond eyed ladies and bars there! I
don’t even think it’s possible to count all the
bars there.. every type imaginable that also comes
with every type of lady imaginable also.
It’s just to hard for me to explain what exactly
what Pattaya beach is all about but one thing is
for sure – a single male can have a hell-of-a-good
time there! There’s no denying that at all. If
you’re an able bodied male.. and you can’t get a
girl at Pattaya beach.. god have mercy on your
soul. That’s about all I can say for your sorry
ass. LOL
Back to my main topic now.. so.. on this sub sea
cable laying job, sometimes I had to catch a boat
out to the barge [which was anchored about a few
miles offshore there in Pattaya bay]. On those
mornings I would have to go down to the little bar
on the main strip and wait for the boat to come
fetch me. This bar is called the Marine Bar and
it’s located right on the main strip. Yup.. the
Marine Bar was named after the good-ole US
Marines! cause during the Vietnam war era days
they used to all go to Pattaya beach for some good
ole R&R [Rest & Recreation].
I would arrive at the Marine Bar about 5:30 am and
wait for my pick-up boat while watching the sun
rise. I’ve always had a favorite pass time of
people watching.. and let me tell you.. I had no
ideal that people watching at sunrise on Pattaya
Beach could bring an entire new meaning to the
word! This brought me to an entirely different
level! Incredible… I noticed several different
types of people there and I classified them into
several different crazy groups. Such as…
The All-Nighter’s (aka: Vampire Guys)
These guys are very easy to spot cause they
usually are the most loud and noticeable of the
groups. These guys are the one’s who have been up
partying all night long and are still going strong
at it… maybe it’s because of the drugs they took
earlier that night.. who knows how they can do it.
Oh.. they’re good at partying and they do it every
night to the maximum. They sleep only around 10 or
11am and then wake up again around 6 or 7pm to do
it all over again!
Most of these guys are here in Pattaya on a short
vacation and they’re here for one reason and one
reason only – to PARTY.. and I mean, PARTY HARD!
They’ve been working all year for this short 2
week vacation and they fully intend on packing in
at least a years worth of missed partying during
their stay here. They only go back to their hotel
and pass out when their body is begging for mercy
and to get their batteries recharged for a few
hours. As soon as they wake up, it’s, “What the
f**k are we doing sleeping.. LET’S GO PARTY
AGAIN!!”
Falang [Foreigner] Drunkards
These are the falang or farang.. [that’s
‘foreigner’ in Thai language] guys who had
obviously been out drinking [to much!] and
partying all night and didn’t even yet realize
it’s already the next day approaching. They are
already so drunk but still insisting to the bar
waitress to, ‘give me another round’. By now they
are so totally wasted and clueless that nothing
really mattered to them anymore. The nothing that
really mattered anymore includes [but is not
limited to] the following;
a) The Very Sexy Girl that they had earlier bar
fined who was already so tired and pissed-off with
this drunkard that all she wanted to do now was to
go back to her bar and sleep. Sitting there
watching.. I felt sorry for these girls.. what a
waste!
b) The bar waitress was even fed-up with these
kinds of guys already. The next drink she wanted
to give this drunkard should have a mickey in it
so the guy would just pass out on the bar and be
done with it. She’d be doing him a favor.. believe
me.
c) They’re so wasted that they’re about to
pass-out on the bar.. at which time any Thai thief
or rejected Katoey will be able to casually walk
over and empty their wallets and pockets for them
[well.. at least then they wouldn’t have anymore
money to pay for anymore drinks so this would
force them to go back to their hotel to either
sleep it off or.. get more money and come back!].
Last Call For Alcohol Girls
These are the girls that nobody wanted… not even
the drunkard above. These girls were totally
ignored by so very many horny foreigners and they
haven’t a clue why. Perhaps the fact that they’re
ugly as sin may have had something to do with
their rejection. I don’t know.. just thinking out
loud. But hey, even ugly girls have feelings and
they deserve to be loved also. Anybody ever heard
the saying, “I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly
woman.. but I’ve woken up with a few!?” LOL
Ok, so.. these not so pretty girls.. they’re still
hopeful so still staying out there on the
streets.. hoping and praying that some drunk or
sucker or reject guy will grab them and bring them
back to their hotel rooms and make wild passionate
love to them.
Pissed-Off & Rejected Katoeys
Now here’s a group you won’t find anyplace else in
the world! Only in Thailand do they have the most
beautiful [and sometimes.. not so beautiful]
Katoeys! For those of you who don’t know what a
Katoey is, let me enlighten you. A Katoey is a
Ladyboy, HeShe, SheMale, Tranvestite.. you get my
drift now.
Believe it or not.. they’re in big demand in
Thailand. Many foreigners [usually those old,
bald, fat foreigner guys] love to play in the sack
with Katoeys! That’s a known fact [so please don’t
take offense if you’re reading this and you happen
to fit the Katoey liking description] LOL. Nothing
personal guys. Hey, just to be fair.. I’m sure
there’s also some young, not-bald, slim foreigner
guys who also like to roll in the sack with
Katoeys [there.. you happy now?].
Now.. Katoey’s have feelings too.. and if you’re a
totally rejected Katoey you’re probably a bit
pissed-off come morning time. By this time of
morning you can see rejection written all over
their faces.. and they’re none to happy about it
either so they’re still out looking.. praying..
hoping.. that they may still have a chance to find
a horny little fat and bald foreigner guy to take
them back to their hotel room and give them a good
… um…. rear-end screwing… with some payment
afterwards.. Of Course! How else are they going to
make a living?? LOL
So, folks, there you have it. Now you know exactly
what the Pattaya Beach Dawn Freak Show is all
about so if you ever get a chance to visit the
place perhaps you can even join the show if you’re
still up partying at sunrise there. LOL
Enjoy!
About The Author...
Tony Wells is an American who’s first Asian
eye-opening experience was in 1982 when he went
there to work as a Commercial Oilfield Deep Sea
Diver. He’s currently writing a book about his
life’s story as the only Black American Commercial
Diver in SEA and all other his wild and crazy
experiences in Asia. He has also written articles
for airline in-flight magazines such as; Silver
Kris, Wings of Gold, and Hemispheres as well as
some local Singapore newspapers.
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